The water’s surface swayed, raising small splashes. One pull, one kick. The ripples spreading out, Nagisa’s head rises to the surface past them. And then, pushing his way through the water with unhurried breaststrokes, he comes back after making the turn. That way of swimming was a little different from when he did the time trial.
On top of the starting block, Rin watched Nagisa’s swimming while feeling that something was wrong. Touching the wall’s surface with both hands, Nagisa lifts his face from the water. Rin, who was supposed to dive in by passing Nagisa overhead, remained standing on the starting block.
“What happened, Rin-chan?”
Among his uneven breathing, he asked intermittently. Squatting on the starting block, Rin peered at Nagisa’s face from just above him.
“Hey you, were you swimming with all your strength just now?”
“Yeah.”
Behind the goggles, Nagisa’s big round eyes look straight up at Rin. Nor unease, nor doubt, nor falsehood can be found in those eyes. Even so, Rin attempted to peek even deeper into Nagisa’s eyes. However, soon realizing that it’s not necessary, he diverted his gaze. Nagisa’s eyes were endlessly transparent, without even the tiniest impurity in them. To the extent that it was even clearly visible behind his goggles.
Nagisa doesn’t attempt to hide what he’s thinking. From the start, he doesn’t happen to have thoughts that people would feel ashamed over. He was capable of honestly believing, honestly expressing himself. That is what Nagisa’s like. That sort of thing was the hardest to do for Rin. In the case of a guy who deceives people and evades things, a part of him somewhere feeling that he has a debt to pay, makes a gap in his heart. Keeping the truth hidden, Rin himself had created a gap in his heart, too.
But there’s no such gap at all in Nagisa.
“Compared to the time trial, didn’t you change your way of swimming?”
“It’s the same.”
Somehow, it appears that the person himself hasn’t noticed. Perhaps it’s the kind of thing where you often don’t know it about yourself. Things like subjective impressions and ideals getting in the way, it’s possible that it can’t be seen well.
“Your time dropped.”
“Really?”
Taking off his goggles, Nagisa peers at Rin from below. Into the very depths of his eyes. Standing up, Rin escaped from Nagisa’s gaze.
“The way you did it before, it was faster.”
In the swimming race, it couldn’t have been a fluke――. That was Rin’s theory. A time that went up once is not something that drops like that. It’s especially true for them, in their growth period. Being in the growth period means not only in terms of constitution and physical strength, but it also includes technique and spirit.
“That’s strange, I wonder why? I really didn’t change my way of swimming.”
“Hey you, when you’re competing, can you see your opponent?”
“Yeah, I can see them perfectly.”
“Then, that’s it. It’s about whether or not you have the feeling of wanting to swim faster than your opponent. Without you knowing it, it’s that feeling that made Nagisa faster.”
“I can swim faster because of a feeling?”
“Sure can.”
The strength of their feelings makes a person grow. To the extent that it could occasionally even be called evolution, there are times when it causes a dramatic change. That’s the reason why Nagisa displayed a swim exceeding his true strength during the time trial. Thus, it’s not that difficult to change a limit with one’s true strength once it had been exceeded. That was the privilege they had, being in the growth period.
“Wanna try swimming with me?”
“With Rin-chan? But, I think I’ll lose.”
“I’ll go easy on you.”
There was no reason to swim with as much speed as Nagisa’s produced time.
“If you overtake me, it means that Nagisa’s personal record has improved.”
“Yeah.”
The two of them standing lined up on the starting blocks, they matched their breathing. Then Rin quietly speaks.
“Let’s go. On your mark, bang.”
Landing on the water at roughly the same distance, the ripples spread. One pull, one kick. Nagisa’s head rising, Rin’s head rose a little ahead of him. Nagisa ends up falling behind after all. It’s not simple to shorten the difference that occurred at the start. In Nagisa’s case, there was a problem with his angle at the time of diving. Conversely, if he were to correct that, it means that his time can still go up. But that’s not a simple thing, either.
Near his lower back, Rin felt the sensation of Nagisa’s fingertips stretching forward on the water’s surface. They make the turn at 25m without the difference widening or shortening. Where they crossed the remaining 15m, it felt like Nagisa’s fingertips stretched a little further. The difference doesn’t shorten. When he thought that perhaps it’s just his imagination, Nagisa’s arms stretched forward all of a sudden. It wasn’t his fingertips, it wasn’t his imagination, his arms distinctly stretched forward. It came rushing with an energy that seemed like it could pierce the tip of Rin’s shoulder. A chill runs down Rin’s back.
He finally understood the reason why the swimmer’s rhythm was broken by Nagisa seeming to have caught up to him during the time trial.
The difference shortens with each stroke. Nagisa’s arm capturing Rin’s chin, he glances ahead. With around 5m remaining, Nagisa’s head was about to line up with Rin’s. In Rin’s eyes, Nagisa was no longer Nagisa, he couldn’t perceive him as anything other than something mysterious.
――I’m being overtaken!
The moment he thought that, Rin put strength into his shoulders. Then, as he reaches the goal with a difference of one head between them, he climbed up onto the poolside. While breathing so hard that you wouldn’t think that he only swam 50m at best.
It wasn’t a lie when he said that he’ll go easy on him. He was also confident in reproducing Nagisa’s best time within a 0.5 second margin of error. And yet, why did he end up straining himself in the final moments? In a single word, it would be called ‘terror’.
It wasn’t because fighting instinct had welled up, nor because he had gotten serious. Frightened of Nagisa gaining on him, he ended up running away from him. And then, unable to endure even being in the same water as Nagisa, he ended up rushing out of the pool. From the water, Nagisa looks up at Rin, who’s standing still on the poolside while water trickles down on him.
“What happened, Rin-chan?”
Rin couldn’t look directly at Nagisa’s face.
―― Why was I frightened of someone like Nagisa?
He tried asking himself the question, but no answer came. Feeling like he could see right through inside his chest if their eyes were to meet, Rin spoke as he turned to the side.
“You can do it if you try, huh.”
“I couldn’t do it. I mean, I couldn’t catch up, could I?”
No, he caught up. Nagisa was supposed to have caught up to his personal best. If Rin hadn’t ran way.
“Hey, your arms ――”
As he began to speak, Rin’s voice chokes up.
“Yeah.”
It was Nagisa’s usual voice. Nagisa, who’s a teammate and whose presence was like a little brother’s. By no means was he the likes of ‘something mysterious’. Breathing out the air he was holding in his chest, Rin could finally look at Nagisa.
“Your arms stretched forward.”
“Mine?”
Saying that, Nagisa looked at his right arm.
“That’s right. In the second half, you were gaining on. That’s when your arm stretched forward.”
“Is that so? I had no idea at all, though.”
“Hey you, while swimming, what were you thinking about?”
“Just that I’ll definitely catch up.”
He says it easily. Perhaps he doesn’t think about things like his own form and rhythm.
Everyone has their own form and rhythm that suits them. It’s not easy to discover it, it turns out to be different even if you think you discovered it, and sometimes it ends up passing by before you knew it. Rin is still in the middle of continuing to search for it, while repeating trial and error. So, he always swam while thinking about it, he never once swam recklessly. Even if he swam with all his strength, he can’t think of raising his time, either.
However, he also knew that sometimes, an ability to concentrate that’s close to its limits can bring forth the best form, like a miracle. The ability to concentrate is, in other words, the strength of feelings. Indeed, he told Nagisa that you can swim faster because of a feeling, but it was unexpected that it would be apparent so distinctly.
“Hey you, can you swim like that once more?”
“Hmm, I’m not really sure.”
It’s a natural reply, since he’s swimming without being conscious of his form. Somehow, it seems that Nagisa is the type who masters things by personal experience.
“Wanna try swimming with me again?”
“Yeah.”
Nagisa climbs up on the poolside. Although he has a delicate and short body, how does he produce that kind of catching-up? Perhaps there could be a hint in it for the best form that Rin is seeking. While thinking about this and that, he stands up on the starting block.
“Let’s go.”
One breath.
“On your mark, bang.”
Rin and Nagisa’s feet dancing in the air, their bodies are sucked up by the water. Is their goal 50m ahead, or is it farther away? Without even knowing where they’re headed, for now they just repeat doing the strokes. Strong, fast. While thinking of nothing but that.
The swimmers in the same events making groups, each one practiced separately. Since the tournament was approaching, it’s for the sake of placing emphasis on their specialty event. Usually, Makoto would join the breaststroke group in this period, but this time he was in the backstroke group.
With Haruka in free, Rin in butterfly, Nagisa in breaststroke, it becomes inevitable for Makoto to be in the backstroke.
It’s not because he can’t swim it, nor because he is weak in it. However, he has never swum it in the tournament before. So, since his time hasn’t been measured yet, in a sense, it’s an event that he hasn’t properly swum in. That sense meaning, the S-shaped pull.
Until now, he swam with the straight pull, following the standard. Swimming with arms stretched straight out, like a boat’s oars, but the loss becomes greater, you can’t pick up speed that much. In the case of a boat’s oars, just paddling with the left and right simultaneously is still better than nothing, in order to paddle by alternating in backstroke, without advancing straight ahead, by paddling too strong, it ends up causing a goldfish motion. In addition, at the start and end of paddling, because the strength ends up dispersing, you can’t acquire enough propulsion power.
On the other hand, there’s no futility in the movements with the S-shaped pull, theoretically you can swim faster in it than with the straight pull, but since the movements become more complicated, and unless you’re used to it, you end up unnecessarily receiving the water’s resistance.
Seizing his grip with both hands, from a stance where both his feet were pushed against the wall, with one forceful push, pulling his body forward, he kicked his feet diagonally. His body is only in the air for a moment, then the world immediately transforms into being within the water. When he makes the landing on the water, from his feet in their stretched state, he commences the flutter kick. Strokes while rising to the surfacing. Then, the S-shaped pull.
Ah, he thought. Huh?, he thought. It was different. It’s different from usual. Usually, when he dives in, from getting a feeling like the monster is tearing into him to taste him, his body starts to cower, that wasn’t the case now. The sensation of being tasted is there. However, his body doesn’t cower.
His arms stretch out. He thought it was his swimming. He’s not running away from the water. Maybe this is his true self. Maybe this is his true swimming.
From the entry, he catches, like deeply paddling the water. Then, while drawing arcs close to his body, he pulls, like throwing a ball. Pushing while deeply paddling again. At the same time as that, making the entry by firmly stretching out his recovery hand.
He could see the sky. Looking through the club’s ceiling, he can see the sky. Although he feels the monster’s presence, when he’s looking at the sky, his body didn’t cower. It wasn’t necessary to shake it off, nor to run away from it. Even if he swims with might and main, it wasn’t with all his strength.
Making the turn, he commences the strokes again. It’s different after all. Could it be because he’s swimming without seeing the bottom of the water where the monster lurks? Or could it be because he’s looking at the sky? He thinks that’s also possible. However, the biggest primary factor was his way of swimming. He can feel the streamline. Even without being conscious of the correct stance, his body naturally aims to produce that figure. Markedly stretching before he could think about it, he was able to ride on the water. He feels the water.
―― Perhaps I’m a marine mammal.
Perhaps he was a creature of the sea, called a marine animal, from the start. He thinks it’s foolish. However, he couldn’t think of it any other way. If that weren’t the case, what is this sensation of perfection? This satisfying feeling, where could it possibly be gushing forth from? This feeling that he hadn’t experienced until now, releases Makoto into the water.
Even after climbing up on the poolside, he was still in high spirits. While trying to suppress that feeling somehow, he walks towards the bench. Aki was sitting on the bench.
“Huh? Zaki-chan is in bakku, too?”
He tried talking to her a little.
“Ah, Tachibana-kun. No, I’m in free.”
“Were you taking a breaking?”
“Yeah….. Just thinking a little.”
“About the medley relay?”
“……No.”
“Ah, I get it. About planting the flowerbed tomorrow, right?”
Since the bricks were finally baked, it was decided that Makoto’s class will pile them up tomorrow. The duties are assigned to each class, such as the job of putting in the soil and watering. The job that became a problem was that they have to use cement for piling up the bricks. Even if they were taught how to do it, some voiced their worry over being able to do it well.
“No. That’s fine now, since the plasterers will be coming. They said they’d plaster the cement, too.”
“If that’s the case, you should ask Haru.”
“Eh? Nanase-kun? But, isn’t it difficult?”
“It’s all right. Haru laid out the bricks in his house’s garden.”
“In the garden?”
“Yeah. When you walk in the garden, the soil ends up sticking, right? Because of that, on rainy days, since the entranceway gets dirty, he ended up making a pathway from bricks and cement. He did it well. It’s just 1 meter, though.”
“Ohh, so that’s how it is. He sure is skillful.”
He senses a shadow somewhere in the smile that Aki shows.
“But, what you were thinking about, it wasn’t that, was it?”
“Yeah….. It’s about Nanase-kun.”
“About Haru?”
“I’m practicing free all the time now, too, but I was wondering why Nanase-kun only swims free?”
Why would she care about something like that? Even though it’s not something that started now. While transferring his gaze over to Haruka’s group swimming free, he asked Aki.
“Why about something like that?”
“Nanase-kun’s free is really fast, right? So, I was thinking about what kind of feelings he swims with. If I could understand those feelings a little bit, maybe I’d become faster, too.”
Makoto’s eyes catch Haruka. Even from a distance, he knew right away. With an elegance like a dolphin’s, he swims in a relaxed manner. Perhaps Haruka feels the water, too?
“Haru doesn’t really swim because he likes it.”
“Eh?”
“He doesn’t particularly like free, either.”
“But, in that case, why…….?”
Makoto returns his gaze that was turned towards the free group to Aki.
“It’s not that I’ve asked him, but the meaning of swimming for Haru is a bit different than it is for us.”
“What do you mean by that?”
Staring at Makoto, Aki blinks. As if Makoto was like a rare creature or something.
“For Haru, being in the water is natural.”
“Eh?”
“Because of that, the most natural form is surely free.”
“Is it something like, natural ability?”
“Yeah. If you were to say it in a single word, instinct, perhaps. I think it’s like asking a dolphin or a whale why they’re in the sea.”
Makoto himself had felt something close to that just earlier. He can’t clearly declare that that’s the way it is. But he thinks that perhaps it’s not that far away from it.
“If that were the case, then maybe I can’t understand it.”
“Nobody can understand it. Haru’s true feelings…..”
Aki turns her eyes towards the free group. To Haruka swimming among them.
“Well, I’m going back to practicing.”
While saying that, he turned his back to Aki.
“Yeah.”
While feeling it from the smallness of the reply that Aki’s gaze was turned towards Haruka, he went back to the backstroke group.
—-
The baked bricks were placed underneath the cherry blossom. The lumps of clay that had been burned light brown in color were systematically piled up, wearing a reddish tinge from the iron’s oxidation, while the spring-like light of the sun shone on them.
Bags of cement of and metal buckets, as well as small tools were placed beside it. The boys’ job is to pour water over the cement. Whirling up as the seal is cut, the grey powder soon settled down. Whirling up as the shovel is thrust into it, whirling up as it’s moved into the bucket, whirling up again as water is poured into it, then it soon settled down.
On both sides of the cherry blossom, a not too deep rectangle is dug. It appears that the plan is to have the flower bed there. Driving in stakes at the four corners, stretching a yarn between them, while affirming the horizontality with the yarn, they lay down the bricks one level at a time. Lining up the bricks while plastering them with cement, after they’re finished with a level, plastering cement on it again, they line up the second level of bricks. The work advances following such a procedure.
The work of plastering the cement was the difficulty of the problem. Caution and skillfulness is required while evening the height, since they had to line up the bricks at regular intervals.
As they had arranged it previously, they carried the tools to Haruka’s side. Without wavering or hesitating, taking the tools into his hand, Haruka headed towards the cherry blossom.
Carrying the bricks is the girls’ job. Haruka lines up those carried bricks while plastering them.
“Sorry, Nanase-kun. For asking you to do something difficult.”
Aki said while handing over the brick to Haruka.
“Not really. I’ve done it before and the plasterers explained it, too.”
He replied without looking at Aki. He has to steadily concentrate, down to his fingertips. If he was even a little careless, the cement becoming wavy, the bricks would end up slanting. There was a message written on each of the bricks. If those distract him, suddenly the trowel end almost ends up being shaken.
Haruka just concentrated only on plastering the cement. Chasing away his resistance against planting a flower bed around the cherry blossom to somewhere in his heart, too.
“Looking good.”
Rin called out from behind. Since he wasn’t seeking a reply, he doesn’t act like he heard it. He continues working, scooping up the cement from the plank.
“Maybe I’ll give it a try, too.”
―― Without going out of your way to say it, if you want to do it, just go ahead and do it.
After he heard Rin’s footsteps going far off, suddenly, he noticed that the cement is becoming faintly wavy. Did he lose his composure just from Rin calling out to him? He clicks his tongue a little in his mind.
Rin coming back after a short while, he sat down on the opposite side of Haruka. Using the plasterer trowel he held in his right hand, he smoothes out the cement with surprisingly delicate movements. The distance between Haruka and Rin is less than 2 m. He thought that it’s an unpleasant distance. If they were a bit closer, he could plainly run away, if they were a bit farther apart, it wouldn’t be the appropriate distance for having a conversation anymore.
“Haru, starting tomorrow, I’m thinking of measuring the time.”
As he thought, he came to talk.
“I’m thinking of practicing the contest format……”
He expressively cuts his words short. He’s not deciding it on his own like usual. He thinks it’s a faint hearted thing to do for Rin.
“I don’t really mind.”
Expressionlessly as usual, he replies without taking his eyes off of the bricks. While thinking that they don’t particularly need to have this conversation now.
Rin nodded a little, seeming satisfied.
“Nagisa’s gotten faster.”
He knows. They’re on the same team for the moment.
“That kid’s arms stretch out.”
“……”
“It’s the upkick. It looks like Nagisa hasn’t noticed it himself, but when he pulls his legs in, they turn up. But it looks like it only comes out when he’s going for first.”
“……”
“And then, as long as he could do the start properly, that kid will become even faster.”
That may be true, but it’s not something they have to talk about now in particular. Won’t he quiet down?
“I’m thinking of teaching Nagisa about game sense, or rather, timing or something like the ability to concentrate.”
―― Do you have enough of something to teach it?
Shaking off the light irritation, Haruka concentrated on the movements of the trowel. He pays attention so the cement won’t become wavy. He didn’t want to care about what Rin was saying anymore.
Finally finishing the first level, he stands up and takes a breath. He has to pile up three levels in total. The sun still high, it seemed like he would finish by evening. He thinks that he wants to go to the swimming club, if he can finish a little earlier. He thought that he doesn’t mind even if it’s just ten minutes, he wants to swim.
As he looks at Rin, he was already about to finish the first level. He carefully completes it, even smoothening out the surface. It makes him admire that while chatting so much, it’s skillfully handled.
“Haru, I brought the refill.”
Makoto carried the metal bucket with the cement in it with both hands, looking heavy. Placing it in front of Haruka, he takes a breath. The bucket is full of cement, he could easily imagine how heavy it is. Requiring two people to be finally able to carry it would be normal for an elementary school student.
It feels like lately, Makoto’s body has grown another size bigger. Not especially because he’s gotten taller, but it gives off an impression like he’s wearing some sort of armor.
“I wonder if we can make it to practice today.”
Makoto’s carefree tone was well-matched to the blue sky welcoming the springtime. Rin stands up, having finished the first level.
“I just told Haru about it, but I’m thinking of practicing the contest format starting tomorrow. Measuring the time, too.”
“Right. The tournament’s getting closer, huh?”
Leaving it to Makoto to talk with Rin, Haruka started working on the second level. He wanted to work in silence. Without thinking about anything, forgetting that this is the graduation project, even that he’s under the cherry blossom, chasing it away to somewhere, he wanted to finish it as just work.
―― I want to hurry up and sink my body in the water.
He made that his only thought.
The wind that grazes his cheek carries the gentleness of spring. He wanted to hurry up and get in the water for the sake of shaking off its lukewarm sensation, too.
When spring comes, Kotsuzumiyama grows a little taller. Since it’s only a head smaller than Myoujinyama, from ancient times, they compared the two mountains to brothers. At the time that leaf buds start blowing on Kotsuzumiyama, just like a little brother standing on his tiptoes to catch up with his big brother, it grows only a little bit taller.
It doesn’t mean that the mountain’s height actually changes. It seems that the plants’ distribution and the trees’ increase, by the color of the sky and such, make it look like that.
While wiping away the sweat trickling down his cheek and falling, Haruka was approaching Mutsukibashi. Although his pace is faster than usual, the temperature is considerably higher, too. Makoto and Rin probably aren’t coming today. Nagisa had left long ago. It’s been a while since he crossed the bridge alone. The wind blew again today on the bridge. He got the impression that it’s been a while since he felt the wind while running, too. Originally, he intended to run alone like this. It wasn’t part of Haruka’s plans at all to run with Nagisa and Rin. The same is true for swimming in a team.
He thought that swimming was fundamentally an individual sport, with relay being an extension of it. Therefore, carrying out practice individually being the rational approach, there was supposed to be no need whatsoever to fuss over being in a team.
Supposing that if this was baseball or soccer, things such as formation and coordinated play, and certainly team play as well, would become necessary. Understanding each other’s abilities, covering for each of them, power and balance as a whole has to be prepared. There are also things like breathing and eye contact for example, unless you practice, you can’t possibly do them.
But eye contact and formation isn’t necessary in swimming. Once you dive in, you’re alone. Displaying the strength each of them possesses, it doesn’t matter just as long as they swim fast. There isn’t supposed to be anything else to think about.
Rin talking heatedly, Makoto shouting that it’s no good without Haruka, Nagisa wanting to be a member, being told by Aki that he should swim.
Could it be that there’s something more in the contest called relay? He thought that if there’s something to it that he doesn’t know about, even if he pays the price, perhaps there’s a value in giving it a try. Even if the price he has to pay is other people interfering, cooperating against his will, being coerced to do things that go against his own intentions.
It’s something that he had decided on once he was prepared. He didn’t intend to simply go back on it. That’s why, if it’s necessary for the relay, he didn’t have a reason to refuse, nor did he intend to refuse to swim and run, the four of them together. It’s just that Haruka hasn’t detected a special significance of any sort in the contest called relay. It’s only that he continues to swim in the water, with ties clinging to him.
When he comes out onto the poolside from the changing rooms, Nagisa came by, clinging to him.
“Haru-chan, what were you doing? You’re late. What about Rin-chan and Mako-chan?”
He feels out of tune. Even compared to himself from a year ago, Nagisa was too childish. It’s hard to think of him as someone to push away or neglect. Even now, he doesn’t really know how he should treat him. That said, he won’t become good-natured enough to return courtesies.
He decided to deal with him like his usual self, as much as possible. While feeling the contradiction that his usual self is no longer what it used to be.
“It’s the graduation project. They might not be coming today.”
“Whaaat. But, oh well. Let’s hurry and practice.”
The practice Nagisa is talking about is for the relay, that is. Now, the meaning of Nagisa’s swimming was all in the relay. Swimming fast, then winning. It was an objective that was simple to the point of being too precise. He notices a significance in the relay more than Haruka, at least.
Since they’re equal members, would they need to have the same objective? Could that be what teamwork is? Could that be what cooperativeness is? Supposing if that’s the case, Haruka will end up losing his meaning of swimming.
Nagisa stood on the starting block.
“On your mark, bang.”
After saying it, Nagisa dives in. Haruka doesn’t intend to say anything technical like Rin. From the start, he’s never swum while being conscious of something like that. Not to mention, he’s never once had interest in things like someone else’s form. However, he feels it. Something like dissonance in Nagisa’s swimming. But he can’t express it in words, he only feels it. An uncomfortable feeling, like a metronome with its spring broken. A resistance, like a bicycle with rusted gears.
He comes back after making the 50m turn. Around passing 70m, it seemed like Nagisa’s arms stretched. It felt like his arms were longer, so much that they were disproportionate to his height. At that moment, the uncomfortable feeling disappeared. Same as ever, Nagisa carves a rhythm with wide strokes. There’s no sign of him particularly putting in strength or having raised the rotation of his strokes. And yet, around the remaining 15 m, he accelerates even more. And then, accelerating again on the remaining 5m, he touched the wall.
Haruka’s feet kicking off from the start block, his body flutters in midair.
He heard from Rin that Nagisa had started swimming like that. However, after actually seeing it in front of his eyes, he ends up feeling it hard to understand.
Before he’s aware of it, Nagisa and Kotsuzumiyama overlapped in Haruka’s mind. He knows that it’s an optical illusion to appear like it has grown taller when spring comes. Considering that Nagisa’s thing could be an optical illusion, too, he immediately denied it. Denying the fact itself that the mountain and Nagisa are overlapping, he slips his body into the water’s rift like always.
It was at the time when dirt was spread out in the graduation project’s flower bed and some sort of seeds were sowed in it that they started seriously practicing for the tournament. Roughly dividing a day’s practice schedule into two halves, they were assigned to measure time in groups assembled from those swimming the same event in the first half and practicing relay and long distance in the second half.
At this time, the schedule became swimming free for Haruka, backstroke and breaststroke for Makoto in the first half, and participating in relay afterwards. Rin and Nagisa’s practice schedule is only relay in both the first and second half. Today, Aki and Yuuki participated in Rin and Nagisa’s practice, too. Occasionally, it happened that Aki’s group participated in the relay practice like this. In an attempt to calm down a little the feelings of anxiety and impatience, that they wouldn’t know if they weren’t swimming the same relay, they have joint practice with Rin and Nagisa.
Both of Nagisa’s hands touching the surface of the wall, Rin dives in. Lifting his goggles, while his eyes express that he can still last, Nagisa looked after Rin going far off. A sigh blends in with his rough breathing.
Aki never even thought that Nagisa could try his best this much. Even though they’ve kept going until they’ve lost track of it, he doesn’t voice a single complaint. He must have been quite tired. As well as his posture collapsing for the dive, his breaststroke speed is dropping, too.
Sometimes, she thinks that Haruka’s team’s level might be too high. Probably, Nagisa himself ought to feel something similar to that. But, perhaps it’s for this reason that he’s trying his best. Perhaps he earnestly thinks that he doesn’t want to be someone who holds back the team.
As Nagisa tries to climb up onto the poolside, not putting enough strength into it, when it seems like he’s about to fall back into the water again, Aki grabbed his arm and pulled him up.
“Thanks. Haa. Zaki-chan. Haa.”
“Shall we take a little break?”
“Yeah.”
Nagisa nodded, among his gasping breaths. Nagisa doesn’t pretend to be tough or put on airs. He tries his best when he’s told to, he takes a break when he’s told to. Nagisa was always the true Nagisa.
Shaping a megaphone with both hands, Aki shouted for a meeting, Yuuki replied with an OK sign. After that, Rin touched the surface of the wall.
Nagisa takes off his cap, sinking down to the floor. Aki sat down beside him.
“Nagisa-kun, you’ve gotten faster, huh?”
“Yeah, but, we’ll lose unless I swim faster.”
“Lose, to who?”
“I dunno. Rin-chan said so.”
“Hmm, I see.”
Aki turned towards Rin as he was getting out of the water. Who could Rin be competing with? It always feels like he’s rushing. Always seeking something, running towards somewhere. With what kind of feelings could Nagisa be chasing after Rin?
“Zaki-chan, who taught you how to dive?”
Suddenly being asked, Aki is at a loss.
“Well, I wonder how it was. But, why?”
“It’s not going very well. I try a lot of things, but it’s not right somehow. Rin-chan wouldn’t teach me even if I asked.”
“Hmm, so that’s how it is. I wonder, why wouldn’t he teach you?”
That was unexpected. Even though she thought that Rin was very concerned about Nagisa.
“Hey, what do you think I should do so it’ll go better?”
Being asked that so directly, she’s at a loss for an answer. She hadn’t really thought about things like the diving form before. Aki tried to depict in her head the image of herself when she dives in. Standing on the starting block, spreading out both legs a little, she puts her thumb on the edge. Folding her body, taking a forward-bending posture, she puts both her hands on the starting block. Pulling her body with a jerk, she fixes her eyes on the goal while diving in from the recoil.
As Aki’s thinking about it, she realized that Nagisa’s eyes were turned towards the landing point. It probably doesn’t matter where you’re looking, but it feels like something is different. Though it can’t be explained well with words, she ventures to say that perhaps it’s about where the goal you’re aiming at is. She doesn’t think that it’s a logical reply. But she couldn’t find any other suitable answer.
“Hey, when you’re diving, what if you try looking a bit farther ahead?”
“How much farther ahead?”
“Maybe something like, you’ll dive until the wall on the other side.”
“Hmm.”
Nagisa stares at Aki with big round eyes. Being stared at with honest eyes, a strange feeling like regret spread out in her chest. She ends up blaming herself for saying something vague, which might be deceiving. Honestly, it might have been better if she would’ve said that she doesn’t know. Thinking that, Nagisa took his eyes off of her before she became aware of it.
“Got it. I’ll give it a try.”
Nagisa said that with a smile.
The signal came from Rin to resume practice. As Rin dives in, raising splashes, Nagisa headed towards the starting block.
Aki felt somewhat relieved that she had been released from Nagisa. Not because Nagisa is unpleasant. Instead, somewhat giving off the impression of a little brother, he was someone you couldn’t leave alone. But even so, when she’s stared at with those honest eyes, suddenly losing her confidence, she ends up wanting to run away. Though he was supposed to be like a little brother, she felt that he changed into something she didn’t want to touch. As if, her true self from within her had appeared right in front of her eyes….
And then, when she thinks that’s she released from Nagisa, she feels uncomfortable again.
Nagisa dives. Was his gaze focusing on the goal? Did he properly make a start that he could be satisfied with? While thinking about that, when Aki tried to take a step forward to the starting block, Rin called her to a halt as he climbed out of the pool.
“Yazaki-san. Did you say something to Nagisa?”
Even though he was swimming until just now, not a single breath was irregular. He didn’t speak in a particularly criticizing tone, but it strangely made her feel self-conscious.
“Yeah, about the dive.”
Rin looks back at Nagisa.
“As I thought. I kinda thought his start just now was a little different.”
“…..It’s about where he looks.”
“Eh?”
“When diving in, I told him that he should look at the goal.”
“Ah, so that’s it.”
“Matsuoka-kun, why don’t you teach Nagisa-kun?”
Passing the 25m mark, Nagisa accelerates.
“Nagisa’s not the type who gets faster by being molded. Even if he understands reason and theory in his head, he can’t express it well with his body. But if it’s something that he felt in his heart, it clearly shows in his swimming. He probably hasn’t noticed it himself, though.”
Aki equipped her goggles.
“Then, I might’ve said something unnecessary.”
“Nah, I think it’s good. I think that what Yazaki-san told him, was about a feeling. If it’s about swimming because of a feeling, then I think it came across to Nagisa better than a half-baked theory. Really.”
“Yeah.”
After nodding, Aki stood on top of the starting block. Spreading out both legs a little, she puts her thumb on the edge. Folding her body, she takes a forward-bending posture. While putting both her hands on the starting block, she waits for Yuuki. Pulling her body with a jerk, she fixes her eyes on the goal while diving in from the recoil. While she flutters in midair, she tried gazing straight at her own heart.
――Like Nagisa, was I able to face swimming with honest feelings?
Asking herself the question, she begins to dislike herself for only being able to give a vague reply. While starting to feel uncomfortable for avoiding to touch on that until now, Aki raised splashes on the water’s surface.
Nanowave Translations 
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