High Speed!: Chapter 3 – Free

Haruka turned up at the swimming club four days later. When Makoto was changing in the changing rooms, he went in with his usual expression, out of breath.

“Haru……”

“Hi.”

“Don’t just say ‘hi’. What happened? Are you feeling better already?”

“I’m okay now.”

Mumbling in a small voice, he looks at Makoto’s worried expression unsympathetically.

“You’re not okay. You’re breathing so hard, don’t you still have a fever?”

While waving his hand like he’s being a pain, Haruka opened the locker’s door.  Irritated, Makoto raises his voice a little.

“Haru.”

“I ran here.”

“From where?”

“From home, obviously.”

Saying that, he threw his bag in the locker.

“Hey, Haru. You didn’t even come to school today.”

“I got better after noon.”

While taking off his clothes, he replies like it’s too much effort. As much as to say that he doesn’t even want to see Makoto’s worried expression, Haruka silently continued to change clothes.

“Haru, what are you going to do if you get a fever again?”

“Makoto!”

Haruka’s strong tone and the sound of the locker door closing overlapping, it pushed aside Makoto’s words.

“… wh-what?”

Starting to walk away, Haruka places his left hand on Makoto’s shoulder and passes him by like that.

“Thank you.”

Leaving behind those words, he left the changing room.

All the strength left Makoto’s body at once. His cheeks softening from the words he didn’t even expect to hear, he unconsciously raised his eight-shaped eyebrows. And then, the worried feelings he had for Haruka disappeared to somewhere.

He tries swimming 1000m in forward crawl as usual. His breathing that was so heavy after running wasn’t irregular at all in the water. On the contrary, he feels his body being healed. For Haruka, it was the same water as always.

It’s a lie when he said that he felt better after noon. To be exact, it’s now that he’s starting to feel better. School won’t heal his body or heart for him. That’s why he took the day off. While feeling his physical strength recovering in the water, he gradually kept raising his speed.

Finishing his swim with a smooth form, when he lifted his face from the water, a hand extended towards Haruka. It’s a hand more slender and delicate than Makoto’s. He hesitates for a moment, wondering if he would break it by holding on to it. Removing his goggles, he looked up, narrowing his eyes.

“Welcome back. I’m glad you got better so soon.”

With a smile that looked like a bloomed sunflower, Aki looked down at him. It’s the hand that he brushed away that time on the poplar-lined road. Grasping that held-out hand, Haruka got up on the poolside.

“Thanks.”

“Yeah.”

While shaking his head to the right once to get the water out of his ear, Haruka spoke in a small voice.

“The scarf.”

Only the short noun escapes from Haruka’s mouth. The sunflower-like smile became a little dim.

“Yeah.”

“Since it ended up like that, I was wondering if you still needed it.”

Though the scarf that had turned light brown in the river couldn’t regain its whiteness even after it was washed, he entrusted it to Makoto and asked him to give it back to Aki.

“Yeah, I got it from Tachibana-kun.”

Aki casts her eyes down. She probably thinks that it’s her fault that Haruka fell in the river.

“Don’t drop it again.”

“Sorry.”

—— Don’t apologize. I should be the one apologizing.

“Sorry for everything.”

Aki’s expression brightens from Haruka’s words. Her sunflower-like smile came back again.

“Don’t be.”

Aki tilted her head to the side a little.

From that conversation alone, he understood well enough just how much he had worried her.

Someone calls for her from a distance.

“Zaki, we’re starting the practice for the relay!”

“Alright!”

After replying to them, she shows her palm to Haruka.

“See you later.”

“Yeah.”

Aki ran off, leaving behind a smile. Rin approaches, stepping aside to pass by Aki.

“Nanase, we’re practicing for the relay, too.”

—— Relay? Why do I need to practice for that?

As he thought that, Makoto came running, catching up behind Rin.

“No way. You shouldn’t force yourself any more for today, Haru.”

Going beyond worry, he sounded just like a guardian. He thought that if they’re being so concerned about him, who cares about the relay, it would be better if he were in the water.

“What kind of relay? I only swim free, though.”

He asks Rin, pretending not to see Makoto.

“It’s free.”

“Haru.”

Thinking of Makoto’s worried expression as unpleasant, he passes by in front of him.

“Haru!”

A whistle blowing somewhere drowned out Makoto’s voice as he shouted at Haru’s back again.

Relay practice puts the emphasis on the dive. Using a 25m short lane, each of them lining up on both sides of the pool, lining up at the back again after swimming, they repeat the practice until time runs out.

In the case of a relay, you can say that the time of the start and touch bring out the differences the most. By nature, the act of swimming is that at the same time as acquiring propulsive power, that itself ends up creating the water’s resistance. In other words, it wasn’t an exaggeration to say that how you maximize the strength of the starting kick is of great importance. For that reason, this kind of practice becomes important since you have to become sufficiently aware of the landing’s angle and the underwater stance.

In a free relay, there are four kinds of dives. In freestyle swimming, although any kind of swimming is allowed, since they choose the forward crawl in most cases, ‘freestyle’ and ‘crawl’ are used in approximately the same meaning. Therefore, they carried out this practice with the forward crawl as well.

Jumping into the pool in a light manner, Haruka created a rift in the water. Slipping his body into it, finishing his swim with light strokes, he touches the surface of the wall. Rin jumps in overhead. Although he’s the same height as Haruka, the strength in his feet exceeds that of Makoto’s or Haruka’s.  It’s because his kick strength has become a great weapon for him that he’s excessively fast in the short lane.

Haruka was thinking about that as he was climbing onto the poolside. In swimming the same 100m distance, there are three turns on the short lane and one turn on the long lane. That’s why in Rin’s case, he’s overwhelmingly better in the short lane. During the tournament, that’s the reason why he’s ahead of Haruka until the 70m mark. And that was also the reason why Haruka runs.

He doesn’t deny that there’s someone who swims faster than him. But there’s no way he’ll simply acknowledge it. It’s not that he wants to win or doesn’t like losing. It’s just that he can’t accept it so easily that someone else feels the water better than him.

If you were to ask him if running will make him dive farther, his honest reply would be that he doesn’t know. But since there’s someone who can dive farther than him who runs, that is enough of a reason for running.

While thinking about things like that, Haruka kept observing Rin’s swimming. Makoto stands on the other side. Wearing his cap and his goggles equipped, he doesn’t look like an elementary school student at all. Wide shoulders and thick chest. It’s not like he had that much muscle, but standing at the starting block, he made a fairly overpowering impression.

As Rin touches the surface of the wall, Makoto dived in with a huge splash. He forcibly plunges forward, his strokes filled with all his strength.  Even though they’re not measuring the time, he swims with all his power. That was usual for Makoto. The same Makoto as ever, he was in the same water as always.

When there were only a few meters left to the goal, Makoto suddenly stopped swimming. He thought that he might’ve swallowed some water, but it seemed different somehow. It doesn’t seem like his feet were cramping, either. He just stood in the water, breathing painfully hard.

Now, after just getting out of the water, Rin leapt back in again and swam toward Makoto.

“What happened, Tachibana?”

Raising his goggles, Makoto showed a smile with his eight-shaped eyebrows.

“Sorry, I’m all right. Looks like I’m just in bad condition a little.”

Seeming like his smiling face could turn into a tear-stained one at any-time, Haruka looked away from Makoto. Then just like that, he walked off towards the shower room.

As a result of the gathered candidates put forth by all the classes for the graduation project, Aki’s idea was used in the end.  They had formally decided to plant a flowerbed around the cherry blossom. Once it was decided, the preparations steadily advanced, the project’s arrangements were put together in a blink. And then, before several days had passed, having large quantities of clay carried into the classrooms, the classrooms ended up looking quite like a brick workshop after school. In the large space created by pushing the desks to the back, spreading out a large blue sheet, the clay was piled there like a mountain. Although it wasn’t red yet, apparently it would turn red from the iron oxidizing in it after baking.

The work began with kneading the clay. Taking the pieces of clay cut off one person at a time to wherever they pleased, while pushing out the air from inside it with placing their body weight on it, they diligently knead it up. Unless they do this process properly, it will end up breaking when it’s baked.

Haruka made sure to concentrate on it as nothing other than work, while trying not to think about the fact that it’ll be placed near the cherry blossom.

“Hey, Nanase.”

While kneading the clay, Rin came over to talk to him. He just looks at him without answering.

“It’s about the next tournament, wanna do the medley relay?”

The next tournament will be held after the graduation ceremony, at the end of March. Every year, the local clubs assemble in one building and it’s carried out quite grandly. It was at that tournament that they had met Rin, too.

Since becoming 6th graders, Makoto and Haruka participated in most of the tournaments. All the contests are held separately by age and gender, one person generally participates in three to four events, but Haruka had only ever entered freestyle ones. And so, he’s a three-time champion in free. Makoto has participated in both free and breaststroke before, he’s had the experience of holding the breaststroke champion title twice.

“Not unless I swim free.”

Haruka says while dropping his gaze on the clay.

“You sure are obsessed, Nanase. It’s fine, free being your specialty. Hey, Tachibana.”

Suddenly brought into the discussion, Makoto’s hands stop.

“If it’s a medley relay, what’ll you do for the batta? Wouldn’t it be fine to just do the free relay?”

For swimming the medley relay, team members for the four events of backstroke, breaststroke, butterfly and free are necessary. However, there wasn’t anyone in the same age group at Iwatobi SC who was fast at the butterfly.

To Makoto’s words, Rin replies in a somewhat shocked tone.

“The medley’s fine. I’ll swim the batta. Tachibana can do the bure, so all that’s left is bakku. There’s no one who stands out, but eh, as long as they can swim normally, we’ll handle the rest somehow. Let’s find someone suitable for bakku.”

Suppressed by Rin’s pushiness, Makoto went back to work on kneading the clay without saying anything back.

Instead of Makoto, Haruka’s hand stops.

“Even though I said that I only swim free, don’t just go ahead and continue the discussion about the relay.”

He tried saying it by placing his strong intent inside the peaceful tone. Rin blows a sigh into the clay. In the impression that disobedient children will get their hands burnt. But the tone of his voiced hailed to Haruka’s strong intent.

“So that’s why I said that it’s fine for Nanase to swim free!”

The inflection at the end of the word is too strong. Even if he tries to keep down his mouth after saying it, it’s already too late. The glances of their classmates scattered about on the blue sheet have completely focused on them now. Makoto’s looking at Rin, too, his hands stopping. Rin suddenly stood up, having thought of something. In any case, since he ended up attracting their attention already, it’s probably why he took up a defiant attitude.

“S-so that’s why, let’s write a message on the bricks. Like our favorite word. Something that’ll stay in your memory, freely write it. Freely, yeah?”

Just when he thought that’s it too late to act like a naive graduate, Aki stood up.

“That sounds good, right?”

Aki’s single phrase changed the mood of the class. With everyone getting excited, talking about what sort of message to write, the classroom went back to being busy.

Dropping his shoulders, Rin lets out a tiny breath. Haruka and Makoto kept kneading the clay like nothing had happened. Sitting down as well, Rin went back to work on kneading the clay in silence.

In the end, they didn’t return to the discussion about the relay and left it at that for the day.

Several wispy clouds flowed at the top of Myoujinyama. The wind is probably blowing on Mutsukibashi today, too. While thinking about that, Haruka looked at his wristwatch. Compared to the beginning, how much faster has he gotten? It isn’t really his objective and neither is he competing against anyone. And yet, he still cared about his time for some reason. Suffice it to say, it was probably himself from yesterday. It could be something like, exceeding his limit to tread upon the new world on the other side.

Unlike the water, he didn’t think the land would do anything like healing him. Even though that’s what he thought, when he’s running, sometimes he felt something being released from within him.  But he’s just trying to run fast on land. He thinks that there’s still a huge gap between swimming and getting obsessed over something like that. However, it’s possible that if he keeps running like this, before long, it’ll hold a similar significance.

While vaguely thinking about things like that, when he approached Mutsukibashi, the sound of another pair of feet overlapped Haruka’s.

“Good morning, Nanase-kun.”

When he turns around after being called out to, Hazuki Nagisa was about to catch up to him.

“Hi.”

He lightly mutters. His common points with Nagisa are that they go to the same swimming club and that they have girlish names. At school, he’s a fifth grader a year below him.

He doesn’t think about why Nagisa is running. It’s because he ends up thinking about why Nagisa is running with a happy expression instead.

“Nanase-kun, lately, you’ve been running every day, right?”

His saccharine voice coiled about in Haruka’s ears.

“Just a little, yeah.”

Making a blunt response, he thought it would close the conversation. It’s not that he wanted to avoid Nagisa. It’s just that he didn’t want to think about anything else while he’s running. He didn’t like his mind straying to anything else other than running. He feels like the door is obstinately locked again on whatever was close to being released.

“Me, too……”

Nagisa’s voice was interrupted because he was out of breath.

“I’m thinking that I’ll start running from today onwards, too, so is it okay if I ran with you?”

He didn’t have a reason to refuse.

“I don’t really mind.”

“Really? I’m glad.”

“But I won’t wait for you if you can’t keep up.”

“Okay.”

He didn’t intend to keep up with Nagisa’s conversation any longer. He speeds up before they finish crossing the bridge. Leaving behind Nagisa’s long breath, he returned to his own world again. Suddenly, a wind passes by Haruka. Getting a feeling that it was Nagisa, for a moment, his breath was taken away. Only for a moment, though.

His bad feeling was right on the mark. Finishing the 1000m butterfly, when he raised his head, the kid with the big round eyes was peering down at him. Every day since then.

“What?”

He knew what he wanted, but he still ventured to ask.

“You really can swim the batta, huh?”

“Ah, yeah. And?”

“You’re good at it,huh?”

—— Not as good as your grasshopper, though.

“You’re gonna swim, right? I’ll look at it for ya.”

He quickly climbs up on the poolside. He already gave up on futile resistance.

“Actually, I’m taking a little break from the batta.”

Oh, did he get tired of it already? He can’t expect any improvement at all like that.

“Then, you don’t have any more business with me.”

“No, that’s not it, uhh, Matsuoka-kun, will you be in the next tournament?”

“Yeah. For now, I guess.”

Aki was there. She’s standing at the farthest lane. Is Haruka the one swimming?

“Which one are you swimming?”

“Medley relay.”

It’s Haruka. With the elegance of a water bird flying in the sky, he swims like he’s gliding. There was no one apart from Haruka who could swim like that.

“With Nanase-kun?”

“It’s not decided yet, but I asked Nanase and Tachibana.”

Is Aki going to wait until Haruka finishes swimming? Just as he thought that, she stepped away from the lane all of a sudden. Even as she’s leaving, she sometimes looks back at Haruka.

“One, two, three. And the last one?”

“No one yet.”

When Aki wasn’t visible from the crowd of people anymore, Haruka climbed up on the poolside.

“Then, let me join. I’m fast.”

His big round eyes are sparkling.

“No way.”

He thinks that he might’ve asked for something unreasonable from Aki. It’s fine as long as it doesn’t feel like too much of a burden.

“Why?”

“There’s no way that a guy who abandons practicing the batta halfway through is fast.”

“You’re wrong. I didn’t abandon it, I’m just taking a break.”

“Then, why are you taking a break?”

“I’m doing the bure in the medley relay, so I’m practicing that.”

“Oh? The order you’re going in is real jumbled up.”

“C’mon, let me be a member.”

“No good people are not allowed!”

Since there would be no end to it, he cut short the conversation by walking away. While hearing Nagisa say ‘meanie’ behind his back, he left the place with quick steps.

———

“What did you write on the brick?”

After he finished a swim, when Haruka was sitting on the bench, Aki came and took a seat beside him.

“Free.”

He only gives a curt, minimum necessary reply.

“That’s just like Nanase-kun. It can be interpreted as ‘Living in freedom’ and it can be interpreted as ‘devoted to freestyle’, too, right?”

It doesn’t have such a deep meaning. Since he told Rin that he only swims free, he just wrote it mostly out of desperation. Even though he was asked, he had no intention of going along with social rules and asking Aki what she wrote. More than that, he wanted to ask her if she went out of her way now to come for the sake of such a conversation. If she had any other business with him instead.

Perhaps sensing that Haruka was feeling like that, Aki began to speak after inhaling a small breath.

“Say, Nanase-kun……”

After speaking out, Aki cuts her words short. He thinks it’s unusual for Aki.

“What.”

He tries to encourage her to keep talking. With Haruka’s support, Aki’s lips started to move again, with a faint little smile floating on them.

“I’m thinking of participating in the medley relay, actually. Together with Miki, Maki and Yuuki. It’s kind of funny, huh? Just by looking at our names, it’s like we’re sisters, right?”

Saying that, Aki shows a smile. Did she end up gulping down the words she had begun to say? While thinking that it doesn’t matter, he leaves it as it is with a halfhearted reply.

“Yeah, true.”

Makoto, who had finished swimming just now, was climbing up onto the poolside. It was just the right time for them to switch. From Makoto to Haruka in the lane, from Haruka to Makoto for talking with Aki.  Standing up, Haruka walked to the starting block.

“Nanase-kun.”

Aki stood up and called Haruka to stop. His feet stop but he doesn’t reply. Aki boldly strained her voice from her throat.

“You should do the relay.”

Without turning his body, he looks at Aki over his shoulder just by tilting his head.

“Why?”

“But Nanase-kun, aren’t you the fastest among the sixth graders?”

“At 50m, Matsuoka’s faster.”

He starts walking again, returning his glance to the front. Passing by Makoto who’s dripping with water, he dove in from the starting block. Breaking away from Aki’s gaze, in the water, Haruka is once again released from his ties.

“Hey, Haru. Did you run here today, too?”

Makoto asked him as he’s drying himself in the changing rooms. Being a little aware of Rin changing his clothes behind him, Haruka replied in a murmur.

“Yeah, I did.”

He wondered if Rin would say something, but he heard Nagisa’s voice instead.

“I decided to run starting today, too. Nanase-kun said it’s alright for me to run with him.”

“Ohh?”

Speaking in a teasing voice, Rin stares at Haruka. Since he seems to be misunderstanding something, he adds something just in case.

“As long as he can keep up with me, that is.”

Even though he said that, Rin was still grinning. He feels slightly irritated. Makoto came to the rescue of Haruka’s feelings.

“Maybe I’ll run with you, too.”

Even though he said it like a joke, Haruka knew that he’s not joking. When he asked ‘did you run here?’, he thought that he was probably going to say that. So he got even more irritated. He has no reason to refuse.

“Just saying, I won’t wait for you.”

“It’s alright. I’m not that slow.”

“Not just that, I won’t wait if you’re late, either.”

“Ah, so it’s about that.”

A small shadow floated across Makoto’s eyes. But disappearing so soon that you’d think it was just a hallucination, Makoto returns to the way he was before.

“It’s alright. I’ll be able to get there in time starting tomorrow.”

Then, what kept you until today? Before Haruka could say that, Nagisa cut in.

“We can run together on the way home, too, right?”

After taking his bag out of the locker, Haruka closed its door.

“As long as you hurry up with changing.”

While saying that, he leaves the changing rooms at a quick pace.

“Ah, wait up.”

While putting on half his sock and snatching out his bag, Nagisa ran after Haruka. Finding the scene to be amusing, Rin and Makoto laughed for a little while. Once their laughter died down, it felt like the temperature had suddenly dropped in the quiet changing rooms. Taking out his bag from the locker, Makoto lightly waved his hand at Rin.

“Then, I’m going home, too.”

“Tachibana.”

Makoto’s feet stop just as he was about to step forward.  When he turned around, Rin was wearing an unusually serious expression.

“What?”

“What do you think about the medley relay?”

“’What’……, I don’t mind being in it.”

It’s troubling to be asked what he thinks. There’s nothing else he could reply. Rin didn’t even look happy as he lightly nods his head a few times. It doesn’t seem like he was looking for a particular answer.

“Do you think Nanase would swim in the medley relay?”

‘Could you ask him to swim it?’ That’s what Makoto heard it as. It seemed like it was Haruka whom Rin was interested in.

“I think it wouldn’t change anything even if I ask.”

“Oh don’t say that.”

“Hmm, I guess I can try talking to him about it.”

“I’m counting on you.”

Being looked at with eyes that say ‘You’re the only one I can count on’, he ends up feeling a little pressured.

“See you later.”

“Yeah.”

After leaving the changing rooms, he tried to go to the lobby in a half run. However, Haruka was nowhere to be found. Even though Rin asked him to, it’s not like he had to do it right away, but he didn’t want to drag it on for too long, either. That’s all there is to it. He had no intention of persuading Haruka, he thought that he wouldn’t mind it if he didn’t want to. He has no reason to fuss over the medley relay. Haruka’s free to swim in whatever he wants.

The clicking sound echoed as he opened the parking area for bicycles with the key. He tries to take a look at the area where Haruka usually parks his bicycle. A different bicycle stood there today. The parking area for bicycles without Haruka felt terribly inhuman and cold.

—— I’ll run here starting tomorrow.

He tries to murmur to himself again what he said lightly in the changing rooms. Then, getting onto his bicycle, he starts pedaling.

He caught up to Nagisa at Mutsukibashi. Haruka’s already running near the middle of the bridge.

“Keep at it, Nagisa!”

He looked up at him as he tries calling out to him, wheezing out white breaths. He was glad that he was overtaken like that, but feeling a little sorry for him for being left behind Haruka, since he’s also been abandoned by him, he decided to keep the pace with him.

“Do your best, Nagisa!”

He can talk to Haruka tomorrow. There’s no particular need to be in a hurry. Makoto crossed Mutsukibashi while cheering on Nagisa as he stumbles, blown by the wind.

As soon as Makoto gets home, having taken out the gardening shovel, he started digging up a corner of the garden. It didn’t even take him a minute to finish the work. After that, he opened the entranceway’s door and turned on the light.

The goldfish bowl was left on top of the shoe shelf. Two goldfish are drifting about on the water’s surface. Without swimming or moving their gills, they were just peacefully drifting about on the water’s surface. You could tell at a glance that they were sick from the many white specks on the surface of their scales.

Even though he washed the goldfish bowl every day immediately after getting home from school and treated them by immersing them in medicinal water, after he came home from school today, both of them were floating.

Makoto gently tried to put his hand into the goldfish bowl. The lukewarm sensation coils about his fingertips. Just like a stagnant swamp, he couldn’t feel the beat of life in it at all. With that hand, he scoops up the goldfish coldly drifting about. The two goldfish slept in Makoto’s hand, without the slightest flick of their fin.

Carrying the goldfish to the corner of the garden, he placed them in the hole he had dug earlier. When he covered it up with earth, the ceremony came to a finish. When he thought about what a small life it was to have ended with just that, he felt a splintered pain deep in his chest.

“You still wanted to swim.”

Makoto stood up, holding the gardening shovel. Even though he stood up, he couldn’t take away his gaze from the ground yet.

“Sorry.”

After throwing down the shovel and running to the entranceway, Makoto turned off the pump. Peaceful and dark, only the water that held no meaning remained. Thinking that it was just like the water that had tried to swallow Haruka that time, his hands begin to shake again slightly.

Rushing out of his house, Makoto vigorously ran down the stairs until he reached the stone steps leading to the shrine. Haruka’s house is right there. He has to meet him right now. It can’t be tomorrow. He’ll meet him now. If he doesn’t, he won’t be able to stay himself. He wants to meet Haruka——.

“Makoto.”

Just as he began to climb the stone steps with the evening approaching, he was suddenly called to stop. Makoto’s feet stop, the beats of his pulse getting louder.

—— Haru’s voice…..

He slowly raises his gaze, ascending the stone steps one step at a time. While the setting sun shines on the single torii, it stood with its shadow deepening. And then, standing below that torii is….. Haruka.

—— Was he waiting for me?

Raising the question in his mind, he immediately denied it. That can’t be. Even though he knew it, and yet, part of him wanted to think that. His feet start moving on their own. Towards Haruka…..

He climbs up the stairs, gazing at Haruka. He can’t move his glance. He can’t take his eyes off of Haruka. Makoto climbed all the way up until the single torii, like he was being pulled by something. So close to Haruka that he could touch him if he were to stretch out his hand.

“Haru…… Were you here all along?”

“Yeah.”

Expressionlessly, he replies in a tiny mumble.

“Did you know I was coming?”

Even if he knew that it can’t be so, he couldn’t keep from asking.

“Nope.”

“Then, why….”

—— are you standing in a place like this?

“I was looking at the sunset.”

Makoto tries turning toward the same direction as Haruka’s glance is pointing to. Weaving its way between the maple and zelkova trees, it appeared like the red setting sun was trying to sink the center of the wispy clouds into the horizon.  Since the setting sun was blurred by the clouds, parting with its radiance from its time as the sun, it revealed its outlines as large as the moon. He does think it’s beautiful, but it’s not something unusual to be so fascinated by.

Maybe he was waiting after all. Even though he said differently, he wanted to think that. Just by thinking that, he feels the throbbing pain deep in his chest calming down.

“Do you have some business with me?”

Haruka’s face shone red, with the setting sun illuminating it.

“Rather than business, after seeing Haru’s face, somehow, I might be feeling at ease now.”

“What does that mean?”

Showing his teeth a little, Haruka laughs a bit.

“It’s weird, huh?”

Makoto laughed too, raising his eight-shaped eyebrows. Speaking of which, he thought that it’s been quite a while since he spoke to Haruka with just the two of them. Lately, Rin’s with them wherever they go.

All of a sudden, Haruka looks straight into Makoto’s eyes. The light of the setting sun illuminating deep into his eyes, it felt like Haruka’s heart could be seen transparently.

“Makoto.”

“What?”

“Are you scared of the water?”

His heart jumped. His hands begin to sweat. His throat drying up, he feels a tightness in his chest. It felt like the oxygen had run out, but only around him. Even if he pretends to be calm, he can’t hold down his hard breathing.

He gazes at Haruka’s eyes. He realized that he was the one whose heart could be seen through. It was like that since he was young. Even though he never said anything about himself, he knew everything about Makoto. He understood him. And then, he pretended not to understand. His heart opens up. There was no longer a meaning in locking things away.

Without criticizing him, without pressing questions, Haruka asked him in his usual quiet tone.

“All along?”

He nods his head without making a sound. His fear of the water isn’t connected to whether or not he swims. No matter how much he swims, something inescapable lurks in the water. Even if it seems to be dormant, it doesn’t mean it won’t come and attack one day. The fearful feeling has inhabited Makoto’s heart, knowing the scariness of that lurking thing, being frightened of shadows.

Haruka asked him with a short phrase again.

“Why?”

He wasn’t uncomfortable with Haruka asking him. Rather, he wants him to know. Perhaps, he might have even been waiting for Haruka to say so. On the other hand, he also feels embarrassed for being weak. It’s not like he was hiding it. However, he’s been keeping it completely within him all along.

“When we were kids, the two of us saw all those people wearing the white kimonos and walking in a line, right? Do you remember?”

Haruka nods a little. The face of the child who turned around that time crossing Makoto’s mind, at the same time, he thought that Haruka remembers it, too.

“Apparently, a large fishing boat sunk. A big boat with dozens of people on it. Three kilometers away from the fishing harbor, it was on its way to open sea.”

He heard about such a thing happening years after he had seen that line. As Haruka turns his gaze towards the sea, so does Makoto. The wind blew like it was carrying away the setting sun.

“Three kilometers, that’s a distance we easily swim every day. So why did the fishermen drown there?”

Something is lurking in the sea that can’t swim such a distance. Even if they search for it, they surely can’t find it. From the start, it’s something that can’t be seen with your eyes. He couldn’t think of anything else.

“When I get in the pool, I lose my usual composure. Rather than swimming, it feels like I’m escaping from something. It’s not even the sea and even my feet can reach.  ……. I’m always running away from the water.”

Haruka listened without saying a word. The sun sinking below the horizon, the eastern sky starts to become dim. Still turned towards the sea, Makoto hid his eyes. And then, he slowly raises his gaze at Haruka.

“When Haru fell in the river, I shook with fear. I try and try to hold it back, but the shaking comes from inside my body.  My hands and my feet, I couldn’t stop my entire body from shaking.”

The thing lurking in the water is trying to take Haruka away. That’s what he thought. He thought that Haruka would disappear. That the fear that was only depicted in his head until then, had turned into a thing of reality and was coming to attack him. And then, every feeling other than ‘terror’ had flown out of Makoto. Since then, with no notice at all, unexpectedly, that fear reawakens in his heart. Whether he’s at home, at school or swimming at the pool……. When that fear comes, his body stiffens, his thoughts come to a halt. He ends up fighting against the attacking fear with all this might.

“It’s not because Matsuoka-kun asked, but I’m thinking that I’ll try swimming the medley relay. So…… Haru, let’s swim together. It’s no good if Haru’s not there, if it isn’t Haru. I want to swim with Haru!”

Without stirring, without even changing his expression, Haruka accepted them up front, Makoto’s words that seemed to strike hard. To the point that it’d make you think as if he could even be able to count Makoto’s breathing and pulse, with a cool gaze. That gaze of Haruka’s cools down Makoto’s burning heart and body. Makoto felt the ripples in his chest rapidly calming down.

“Sorry. It seems like I ended up saying something a little weird. Don’t worry about it that much, okay? It’s gotten dark already so I’ll go home now.”

The harbor’s street lights starting to light up, the moon rose from the eastern sky.

“See you later.”

When Makoto said that and was about to climb down the stone steps, Haruka’s heavy mouth opened just a little.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Eh?”

“About the medley relay.”

Makoto’s eight-shaped eyebrows gently go up. His eyes narrowing, a smile returned to his mouth. For now, just saying that much was enough.

“Then, see you tomorrow, Haru.”

“Yeah.”

Makoto’s heart became so much lighter that it couldn’t be compared to earlier. It felt like he had finally put down the burden he’d been carrying on his own. He thinks that perhaps, from tomorrow onwards, days like today will continue.

Liking to swim even though he’s afraid of the water, but wanting to escape when he enters the pool, and that’s why he wants Haruka to be there, but Haruka is blunt as usual……. Even so, he didn’t care about that right now. Just having Haruka understand that that’s what he’s like was enough for now.

Makoto arrived at the road home from the stone steps with dusk drawing near on it in a light gait.